My aim isn’t to delve into politics, but to offer a story that speaks to the broader experience of navigating complex emotions in uncertain times.
The Story of “Wait and See”
The story I often share with clients is a classic parable shared by philosopher Alan Watts. It goes something like this:
A farmer’s horse runs away, and his neighbor comes over, lamenting, “Oh, what bad news!” The farmer, with calmness, simply says, “We will wait and see.” The next day, the horse returns, bringing with it a group of wild horses. The neighbor rushes over, excited: “What good fortune!” And again, the farmer replies, “We will wait and see.” Shortly after, the farmer’s son tries to ride one of the new horses, only to be thrown and injured. The neighbor sighs, “Such bad luck!” But the farmer remains steady: “We will wait and see.” A week later, soldiers come through town, recruiting all able-bodied young men for war. The farmer’s son, with his broken leg, is spared.
This story reminds us of life’s unpredictability and our tendency to label events as “good” or “bad” based on our immediate reaction. Yet, what appears as a setback can sometimes lead to unforeseen benefits, and what seems like good fortune can also bring unexpected challenges. When faced with uncertainty, rather than locking ourselves into a fixed narrative, we might instead take a breath, “wait and see,” and allow the full story to unfold.
Beyond Black-and-White Thinking
In moments of intense change, our minds often crave clarity and control, so they tend to think in black-and-white terms. When triggered, it can feel like our choices are limited to only two responses: love or hate, approval or rejection. This polarized thinking is a natural response to stress, as our brains seek simplicity to make sense of complicated situations.
But as we all know, human emotions and responses are far more diverse. Consider the simple act of smiling: research has shown that smiling at someone can influence their mood positively, creating a ripple effect that increases well-being not only for them but also for those they interact with later on. Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a social scientist, has studied this phenomenon, showing how positive actions can spread outward, creating communities that are happier, healthier, and more connected.
The same is true for hate, of course! If we spread hostility, even subtly, this too can ripple outward, impacting not only others’ mental and emotional states but also reinforcing a cycle of fear and separation.
From this perspective, each of us has a powerful choice in how we engage with those around us. When we feel unsettled or afraid, we can try to be open to “wait and see.” We can try and focus on staying grounded, choosing responses that support resilience and strength in our communities?!
Practicing “Wait and See”
Before we can reach a place of calm or a “wait and see” mindset, we may need to release any built-up feelings in our bodies. Strong emotions—whether anger, fear, or frustration—need room to move before we try to settle our minds. Releasing these emotions doesn’t mean we’re indulging negativity; it’s about honoring the body’s natural response to stress. This might look like a cathartic scream, talking openly with a trusted friend, venting our worries, or allowing ourselves a good cry.
Once we’ve given these emotions space to flow, we’re often better able to engage our frontal lobe—the part of our brain responsible for rational thought, empathy, and perspective. When we’re triggered, our nervous system often moves into “fight or flight” mode, making it harder to access this part of our brain. But when we calm our bodies, we create room for a fuller awareness of how these events are affecting us, and we can respond from a place of strength.
So, what if we choose, at this moment, to adopt the farmer’s patience? Rather than allowing strong emotions to define our view, we can cultivate a response rooted in curiosity and a “wait and see” approach. It doesn’t mean we’re ignoring real challenges or validating actions we don’t agree with; rather, it’s an acknowledgment that time may bring a fuller understanding or different perspective.
In choosing responses that foster connection and understanding, we’re not dismissing difficult realities… we are only trying to acknowledge that positive actions have power. It’s an invitation to breathe through the moment, to allow space for emotions, and to observe. Sitting with our feelings, rather than immediately reacting, allows us to process what’s happening and to make intentional choices from a place of awareness. This awareness of how these events are effecting you is POWERFUL! If you are able to regulate your nervous system first, release any built up feelings that need to be released, and then work on finding awareness of how your brain feels now that you have climbed back up to the frontal lobe.
For those feeling apprehensive or hurt, particularly those who may feel marginalized, this isn’t about demanding love or positivity toward those who might oppose their rights. It’s about recognizing that sitting with anger or fear can be exhausting, and finding moments of calm or openness can be empowering. This “wait and see” mindset allows us to remain resilient, grounded, and ready to respond, rather than react, as the future unfolds.
Embracing a mindset of curiosity and openness helps us respond thoughtfully, even during times of great uncertainty!
