I invite you to take a moment to look outside and find a few trees in different autumn colors. If you can’t find any outside your window right now, see if you can visualize a beautiful fall scene filled with colorful trees in all their variety.
Take a moment to notice each tree’s differences: their heights, whether they’re seedlings or tall and sturdy, the width of their trunks, and the varying lengths of their branches. Take in the unique colors—fiery reds, golden yellows, warm browns—and the way leaf sizes vary from one tree to the next.
Try not to judge which tree is “better” or “worse.” Simply notice these differences. See if you can find gratitude for each tree, with its distinct color and shape, and how it contributes to a beautiful diversity that’s only possible through their differences.
The Power of Description vs. Judgment
Reflecting on nature’s diversity can provide a gentle way to consider our relationships with other people—especially those whose political views differ from our own.
When I worked in a residential treatment center for disordered eating, we often led a group on the concept of “description vs. judgment.” We’d ask participants to look at a flower and describe it simply, noticing its shapes, colors, and textures. Then, we’d invite them to apply this same descriptive approach to how they spoke to and thought about their bodies. This shift was easier said than done; many participants struggled to use the same non-judgmental language toward their own bodies, often defaulting to judgment. Their minds were conditioned to judge any perceived difference or flaw, highlighting just how deeply we tend to judge what is unfamiliar or different—even within ourselves.
Understanding the Role of Judgment
Judgment, of course, has its place. It’s a quick-thinking tool that sometimes helps us make essential decisions on the spot. For instance, if a car is slowing down and we don’t see brake lights, we might quickly judge that it’s coming to a stop, allowing us to react and stay safe. However, judgment can easily become a habit that extends beyond necessary situations, narrowing our view and distancing us from others. A quick judgment in traffic, for instance, could spiral into frustration or anger, making us feel as if other drivers are purposely out to delay us or cut us off.
In times of tension—whether in traffic or during election season—it’s easy to gravitate toward judgment. Judgment often becomes an automatic response when we feel discomfort, conflict, or a sense of threat. But what if, just as with the trees, we shifted to describing rather than judging those with whom we disagree? It may feel different, but the result could bring a bit more harmony.
Applying Description vs. Judgment to Political Views
So, how can we bring this descriptive mindset to our views on political issues or people with opposing opinions? Instead of jumping straight to judgment, we can start by recognizing our initial thoughts and reframing them into more neutral descriptions. Here are some common judgmental thoughts alongside their descriptive alternatives:
- Judgmental Thought: “They’re just misinformed and don’t care about the facts.”
Descriptive Alternative: “They have a different view from me, and it can be hard to sit with someone who has such different news sources than I do, as we seem to be getting lots of differing information.”
- Judgmental Thought: “People who think that way are out of touch with reality.”
Descriptive Alternative: “There are a lot of viewpoints right now, and it can feel overwhelming to navigate them. I know we are all trying our best with the information we have.”
- Judgmental Thought: “How can anyone believe that? They must not have thought it through.”
Descriptive Alternative: “It can be difficult to talk with someone whose views differ from mine, but they are just another person with unique life experiences that are different from mine. They probably have their reasons for feeling so strongly, just as I have my own reasons for my beliefs.”
By recognizing our judgmental thoughts and consciously reframing them into descriptive statements, we create space for curiosity and understanding. This shift allows us to engage with differing perspectives without categorizing them as “right” or “wrong,” opening the door to meaningful dialogue and fostering connections instead of division.
A Closing Loving-Kindness Meditation
To conclude, I invite you to engage in a short Loving-Kindness meditation. This practice can help cultivate empathy and reduce tension, guiding us toward compassion for ourselves and others.
- Find a Comfortable Position
Begin by finding a comfortable place to sit. Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. - Start with Yourself
Focus on yourself. Take another deep breath and silently say to yourself, “May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease.” - Move to Someone Close
Picture a family member or friend and direct your thoughts toward them. Repeat: “May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live with ease.” - Think of an Acquaintance
Now, think of someone you know casually, like the cashier at your grocery store or a neighbor you see occasionally. Silently offer them the same wishes: “May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live with ease.” - Extend Kindness to Someone with Whom You Have Tension
Finally, extend your kindness to someone with whom you experience tension, perhaps someone who holds opposing political views. Gently think, “May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live with ease.”
I know it may seem difficult to send love and kindness toward someone who is different from you—someone who may even be saying hurtful things about you, people you love, or issues you care about. But remember, harboring hatred for someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to become sick. So instead, notice the difference it makes in your own body to send them well wishes instead.
As you complete this meditation, take a moment to reflect on the connections you’ve made and the compassion you’ve nurtured, both for yourself and for others.
A Final Reflection: Balancing Compassion and Boundaries
As you move forward through this season, consider approaching political differences with the gentleness of fall’s changing colors. Practice description over judgment, and see if you can cultivate gratitude for the diversity of viewpoints just as you do for the vibrant hues of autumn.
Yet, it’s important to remember that compassion has its limits when faced with harmful beliefs and actions. Philosopher Karl Popper’s paradox of tolerance reminds us that unlimited tolerance can allow intolerance to spread unchecked, ultimately threatening the very values we seek to uphold. True compassion does not mean accepting harm; it means striving to protect ourselves and others from its effects.
Using our tree metaphor, if a tree in the forest becomes infested and threatens the health of others, we don’t simply admire its place among the diversity. We must act to prevent the spread of its disease, ensuring the forest’s overall well-being. Similarly, in our communities, fostering connection and understanding must go hand in hand with setting firm boundaries against hate and harm.
Compassion for others and accountability for their actions are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they are both essential for cultivating a society that values dignity, safety, and justice for all.
